"I’m not married because I’m a f**king train wreck... →
A pretty excellent read.
Working on my self-evaluation for work
finds seasonally-appropriate Lolcat photos and updates all computer desktops accordingly …and that’s all I’ve got so far. I smell a raise!
10 Scientists Who Experimented on Themselves →
BRB, doing the icky dance (fucking shit, Forssman and Newton!).
A reasonably simple question, but it turns out to... →
How to Spot a First Edition
FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD HELLO HI... →
faithampersandbegorrah: It’s International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day! (Don’t be embarrassed you forgot. It snuck up on me too.) Peanut Butter Dog Biscuit Recipe with Oatmeal Mix: 2 cups whole wheat flour (you can use another type of flour if your dog is sensitive to wheat) 1 cup rolled oats Add, and knead: 1/3 cup peanut butter, chunky or smooth 1 1/4 cups hot water (Add more...
This super cool lady
Who has two thumbs and just enrolled in a cryptozoology course?
"...a watery, tropical, changeable sign,... →
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *tear Go read awful stuff about yourself that may be just a litttttttle bit true.
This is why we can't have nice things
Me: You should do it. I'm doing it.
Coworker: Do what?
Me: The podcast! (A book talk on a Harper Lee bio, for work.)
Coworker: Let’s do it! And then just talk about boys the whole time.
Me: Yes! I’m sure the bio has some dirt on her love life. Let’s rewrite it all Kitty Kelley.
Coworker: We should totally make up crap! Oh wait, I said I was going to be good.
Me: But did you know she dated Bret Michaels? Because she did.
Coworker: AND she was totally one of Tiger Wood’s mistresses.
Me: I heard she spent last weekend with Charlie Sheen.
You guys. You guys. YOU GUYS. All this hubbub about Rolling Stone being wrong, very very wrong, and what where they thinking and how could they and- You guys. They once named The Black Eyed Peas the NUMBER ONE reason to get excited about music. And they did this IN THE YEAR 2010. I’m not saying they’re a bad band. (Though they are.) But I get it. I mean, I listen to some pretty...
Kids books to make you cry
A less fucked-up The Giving Tree with less trees/more people. If you can make it through this book with nary a sniffle then you are dead inside and I would like to learn from you.
Dude, you are so fucked
Helping a nice lady at the library pick out DVDs to watch tonight with her man. Titanic? A classic! The Notebook? YES OF COURSE. 27 Dresses? Sure, if he really loves you.
"But when you were little, weren't you ever like,... →
So down with living out adulthood the way I envisioned it as a child: only responsible for going to work so I can make mad money to pay for a place of my own, fast cars, and adventures with friends. And seriously, fuck bedtimes.
The New American Wine Glass →
This is what I get for being all judge-y wudge-y. “Ugh, Starbucks, stop catering to our American ways! No one could ever need that much of a beverage!” Turns out I was wrong. I have, in fact, needed that much beverage a time or five.
Back at work where there may or may not be layoffs...
just got back from a week long vacation which I took with almost no prior notice am stupid with sleep deprivation (not totally my fault - took a sleeping pill at 11…and another at 2. Hate you forever and ever, anxiety.) am stumbling around drunk-like because of some inner ear thing (which was totally worth it because I got it from diving off cliffs like a badass) have ‘beat...
I had to resist the mad urge to pet some sea turtles (sea turtles! They’re not even very petable!) we ran into while snorkeling this morning. I don’t know why I think that every animal out there is just begging for/would totally appreciate a good chin scratch, but I pretty much constantly have to remind myself that I am not some all animals ever whisperer and to not to fuck with nature. I watch...
It's cool, she has a sense of humor and I a liver...
Holy shit, I’m in Hawaii. The trip here was uneventful in the best ways, with next to no traffic at LAX (?!?), an easy/nappish flight, and a quick check in at the condo. And right now I’m drinking a beer on the balcony after having just enrolled my mother and I in a golf tournament because the activity director mentioned something about ‘50 cent drinks while...